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Or, you can become relentless by reflecting on the “failure”. You can let it bury you by choosing to avoid looking at your biggest fears, sources of pain, and areas for improvement.How you react to the failure, handle the emotional pain, and respond to the situation, will dictate the outcome. It’s going to hurt, and you will have to struggle. If you wish to be successful in any aspect of life, you will inevitably fail at something.After 5 years of reflection, self-awareness, and growth, I realized this “failure” was one of the best things that had ever happened to me.Im not telling this story to throw a pity party, because here’s the thing, Life rolled on, I took and passed my boards, found a job, and so on. Not to be too graphic, but for 6 months I felt like life was repeatedly punching me in the face.Įventually, after finishing my repeat clinical and tidying up the paperwork, I got my degree in the mail and officially graduated. I continued to grind away in 15 hour days as a student working for free, while my boards would be taken late and no job was even close to in sight. The hardest weeks of my life came when each of my friends flooded social media with happy pictures from graduation, posts about passing their boards, and relief they had solidified a job. Instead, on the day of their final ceremonies, I started another 12 – week replacement clinical over the summer to make up for the clinical I failed. I, however, did not get to attend any of this. Everyone in my class walked in graduation, got hooded with their Doctoral completion, and then had a massive party with the professors and their families to celebrate. The real salt in the wound was at the end of the semester. I was placed on probation to finish my 3rd clinical with weekly check-ins, which was Home Care. By far the darkest few months of my life.Īfter the dust settled, I wrote a letter of appeal/apology, faced quite the panel of Deans, Professors, and student representatives to plead my readmittance case, and was let back into the program. It spiraled me into quite a multi-month depression and unhealthy habits for self-medicating, to the point of needing to take anti-anxiety medicine and seeking professional help. Being kicked out was the biggest failure I had ever encountered. Completing my degree was the only thing I wanted. I had dedicated almost 7 years of my life to this, and it was my identity. I lacked both self-awareness and self-reflection to pick up on my insane amount of arrogance.Īt the time of it happening, actually being told I was no longer in the program was the most devastating moment I had ever had in life. Unfortunately, I brought a huge ego with me to my acute care rotation. At the time of starting my acute care rotation, I had just finished my sports medicine rotation and did very well. I was kicked out because I failed my acute care hospital rotation, the 2nd of my 3 rotations before graduation.
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This left me with a whole lot of debt, no degree, and quite a pit in my stomach every day. I have told very few people this until now, but I was actually kicked out of my graduate Physical Therapy program in the last possible semester, after 6 1/2 years of work and $230,000 of financial investment into my doctoral degree.